How to be successful in online dating?
Online dating often seems to be a very random thing - no one knows whether they’ll succeed or not. Meanwhile, people who’ve already tried it often want to know how to be successful in online dating - just because special dating platforms are actually perfect for meeting lots of singles at once.
When people think about online dating, they often assume that it’s easy. While creating a profile and uploading a few photos can actually be pretty easy, everything starts when someone texts you back - and it’s your turn to keep the conversation going.
While online dating isn’t exactly a subtle art, you should still know how to do it well to succeed in online dating. Fear no more - we’re there to help. Together we’ll find out why it might be hard to succeed in online dating, what you can do to improve the situation, and what you can actually do to make your online dating experience as pleasurable as it can be.
Why so many people find it hard to succeed in online dating
It’s too many options
Online dating provides a lot of choices, and this can be overwhelming. Some people struggle to pick the right person from so many options.
It’s not only about how people look - it’s also about their interests, photos, types of profiles, their involvement in conversations. It’s pretty hard to choose just one person to communicate and know each other better when plenty of people want to talk to you.
That’s why lots of people try spreading their attention to many potential partners and end up with nothing.
Liars gonna lie
Sometimes, people create profiles that don't accurately represent who they are. This can lead to disappointment when you meet in person.
Once again, it’s not only about their pictures - it’s also about their job, interests, relationship status, dating goals. People who lie in their profiles tend to waste their own time and time of other people, and they often end up failing in internet dating.
No connection
Building a connection through a screen can be tough. Some individuals find it hard to form a real bond with someone they've only talked to online.
It’s generally harder for many people to talk in person - so that leads to minutes of awkward silence, shy questions, nervous laughter. Also, you just may find out that you aren’t attracted to your date in real life - it’s pretty normal, and it happens more often than you might think. Success in online dating doesn’t happen from the first try, so if something goes wrong, then just try again with someone else.
Rejection
Online dating can involve a lot of rejection. Not everyone you message will respond, and not every date will go well. This can be disheartening.
Matching sites are way more honest and subtle with that. You can normally only talk to singles who’ve already liked you, so it saves you lots of time and energy. Also, it often saves you from an unpleasant moment of realization that someone you like doesn’t like you back.
Expectations vs. Reality
Sometimes, people have unrealistic expectations about the people they meet online. When reality doesn't match these expectations, it can lead to frustration.
Most people want to date someone attractive, young, rich, smart, loyal, and funny. While these people actually exist, most singles only have a few of these features. It’s up to you to decode which ones are the most important to you.
Safety concerns
Safety is a big concern. Meeting strangers from the internet can be risky, and some people worry about their safety when going on online dates.
One of the basic online dating rules says that you should only meet new people in public places, and that’s a smart thing to do. Avoid their cars and houses, don’t share any personal info - and you’ll be completely fine.
It takes time
This type of dating can be time-consuming. Some people find it challenging to invest the time needed to browse profiles, chat with potential dates, and go on dates.
It can actually be pretty time-consuming - you can’t easily find someone perfect for you who likes you back. Successful online dating is all about patience - be ready to look through hundreds of profiles before you find someone special.
As you may see, the main issues of successful online dating are pretty close to regular, real-life dating. People who aren’t happy with who they see online, or who don’t know how to behave to attract others, often feel like online dating is generally fruitless and leads to nothing.
But is it actually true? Is successful online dating actually worth trying?
Main benefits of online dating
Online dating isn’t a niche thing now - lots of young and adult singles meet their soulmates there, so you definitely shouldn’t be afraid to try. Moreover, successful online dating can give you plenty of benefits which aren’t always easy to get in real-life dating.
Whether you have hopes on your internet dating experience or not, it’s at least worth trying - and that’s why.
Meet new people easily
It's a great way to meet new people you might not cross paths with in your everyday life. In fact, you can live pretty close to your perfect potential partner without knowing it - and only dating apps can help you meet.
It’s specially useful for remote workers, busy people, and those who are just shy and introverted enough to avoid huge groups of people. Though there are lots of people around, it’s not easy to make new friends or find a good date - and that’s why successful online dating is your perfect shortcut.
Convenience
You can do it from the comfort of your own house, making it convenient and accessible. It means that you don’t actually have to bother attractive strangers in real life, ask them for their names and phone numbers, nothing like that - just convenient communication in peace and comfort.
The fact that you both are on a dating site means that you’re single and looking for someone, and the matching system does the rest. If you match, then you can talk and share interests - pure convenience!
Shared Interests
Many dating apps can easily match you with people who share your interests and values, increasing the chances of a good connection. It’s one of the most amazing things that happened to the world of internet dating, because now you can actually look for soulmates online!
If you’re into video games, Star Wars, anime, movies, or anything else - you can just find potential partners based on the shared interests. It’s a great ice-breaker, and it’s your perfect opportunity to find someone who can actually share your hobbies.
Take your time
You can take your time getting to know an attractive stranger before meeting in person, reducing pressure. It allows you to avoid lots of awkward and generally bad first dates, because you can know whether the person is suitable for you in advance.
Use this time wisely and don’t rush things - check their sense of humor, talk about your interests, ask them about their relationship goals and experiences. In many cases, online dating allows you to dodge lots of bullets, so you can only meet in person those potential love interests who seem worth your time.
Diverse options
You have a wide range of options, so you can find someone who suits your preferences. It’s usually not just one or two people to choose from - there are plenty of potential love interests around, and all these singles can be pretty interesting and attractive.
Look through the list of singles, read their profiles, check their pictures - and talk to the best of them. If something goes wrong, you can always try again - there are still hundreds of people you haven’t seen yet!
Practice your communication skills
It's a good opportunity to practice communication skills and build confidence. If you’re pretty shy in person, especially with new attractive people around, then it’s your best opportunity to know them better, use your knowledge, sense of humor, and charm to attract them.
Also, you might be surprised at how many people can find you attractive online. Just post your best picture and wait!
Success stories
Many singles have found meaningful relationships and even love through online dating. Successful online dating isn’t a myth - lots of modern couples met online, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
People don’t only find short-term hookups on dating platforms - they find their lifetime soulmates and spouses there. The main thing of how to be successful in online dating is to be real and patient, because your potential partner also needs time to find you!
As you can see, it has plenty of benefits, and in many ways it’s even more convenient than regular dating. Therefore, success in online dating is possible for everyone - just do your best. But how?
The best tips on finding love online - it’s your time to succeed
So, you’re ready for your future success in online dating, and it’s time to start. But how should you start?
Lots of people are actually pretty shy and lack self-confidence - they often feel they’re not good enough to attract someone that they might actually like. Their lack of confidence stops them from even trying - and that’s the worst thing that can actually happen.
You should always remember that no immediate success in online dating won’t hurt you in any way - just be patient and let your potential soulmate find you one day. Meanwhile, you can work on a few things that can increase your success rate a lot.
Be honest - it’s a must
Be truthful in your profile. Use recent photos and describe yourself accurately.
While it seems to be obvious, it’s surprising how many people neglect this rule. You can see plenty of filtered pictures, lots of untruthful profile descriptions, and sometimes even lists of interests and hobbies that people don’t actually have. It’s pretty hard to understand who these people try to impress that much, though - their perfect partners would love them for who they are.
Also, all your profile lies will become obvious after you meet in real life. If you don’t want to start your potential relationship with disappointment, then don’t do that - it leads nowhere.
Finally, you should be clear with your relationship goals and expectations. If you want a hookup, just say that - there are plenty of other people online who’re looking for nothing serious as well, just like you. Hiding this information only makes it harder for you to find the right match.
Choose the Right Platform
Pick a dating app or website that suits your preferences and goals. If you have no plans in getting married, then don’t look for love at bride services, and vice versa.
Some services are specifically created for long-term relationships - so don’t go there for a short-lived romance. It can only break someone’s heart and make it harder for you to find something you actually need.
Interesting Profile
Create an interesting profile that shows your personality and interests. This helps you stand out.
It doesn’t mean that you should “invent” new hobbies or interests that you actually don’t have just to make your profile look more appealing, though. Think for a while and list a few things that you actually enjoy, or know a lot about. It will work way better - trust us.
One of the main things that make your profile interesting - your profile picture. You don’t have to use filters or Photoshop to make it look better, though - it will only make things worse later. Instead, opt for good-quality pictures where you look your best.
If you don’t have pictures like that, then it’s time to make them for your profile - just pick your best outfit, fix your hairstyle, and ask someone else to take a nice picture of you. Smile and be relaxed, so people will see you as someone they aren’t afraid to approach.
Think about safety
Be cautious about sharing personal information and meeting in private places. Safety should come first.
One of the basic rules of how to be successful in online dating is safety. It’s especially important for ladies, but men should also be pretty careful with what they say or show.
You should never meet someone you don’t know at their place, you should never let anyone drive you home - it can potentially lead to great danger. Instead, meet your date at a public place and use a taxi or public transport when possible. It’s better not to tell anyone your address at first as well, because of internet stalkers.
Also, don’t share your card details - no explanation needed.
Conversations matter
Start conversations with people you're interested in. Ask questions and listen to what they say. If you’re really into someone, then don’t answer with a simple yes or no - it’s an instant conversation killer.
It’s not easy for everyone to be a good speaker, though. When you don’t really know someone, it’s often hard to find any topic to discuss. Pay attention to people’s interests, ask questions, use humor - that’s your way to show that you’re interested and actually want to know them better.
Patience
Don't get discouraged if things don't work out immediately. It can take time to find the right match. There are hundreds and thousands of people online, so no wonder that it takes so much time.
You can’t be attractive for everyone, just like you don’t find everyone around attractive - so just keep on trying.
Meet in public
When you decide to meet someone in real life, choose a public place - just for your safety. Cafes, restaurants, movie theaters, concerts, museums - you can choose everything you like.
If you’re a lady, don’t agree to meeting at a man’s place as a first date. If you’re a guy, then don’t push a girl to trust you - she has no reason to, because she doesn’t know you.
Communication
Good communication is key. Be clear about your intentions and expectations.
If you’re looking for a partner who can potentially become your lifetime partner, then say it. If you’re not ready for anything serious, and just want to date, then also say it. Even if you can’t forget your ex, and just want to find someone to move on with, then also mention it - don’t make anyone fall in love with you just to get their heart broken.
Respect others
Treat others with respect, even if you're not interested. Kindness goes a long way.
You can’t potentially find everyone around attractive, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve basic human respect. When people go online to find love, hoping to succeed in online dating, the last thing they need is to be laughed at by strangers who don’t find them pretty enough.
Also, if you get rejected, you don’t have to become overly aggressive or hysterical about it. Everyone has a right to choose who they want to date, and if they don’t see you as their potential love interest, then it doesn’t make them bad. In many cases, you shouldn’t even take it personally - you don’t know why you got rejected in the first place.
Just have fun
Enjoy the process and have fun getting to know new people. Half success in online dating is your experience, so try your best to make it as enjoyable as you can.
Your expectations and hopes shouldn’t be too high - for many people, success in online dating comes only after a few fruitless attempts. Internet dating is a journey, an experience, an adventure - so just relax and have fun, and that’s your best chance to get success in online dating.
Things you should definitely avoid to succeed
Finally, it’s time to talk about all the things you shouldn’t do to succeed in online dating. Once again, they might be pretty obvious for many people, but you’d be surprised to know how many people actually make these mistakes over and over again.
Lying is a taboo
Don't lie on your profile about your age, appearance, or interests. Honesty is important, especially for those who want to find someone for long-term relationships. Lying is the worst thing to base your future relationship on.
Being Rude
Avoid being rude or disrespectful in your conversations. Treat others with kindness, even if they don’t look the way you like, or they don’t immediately fall in love with you. It’s nothing personal - just move on and keep on looking.
Ignoring Safety
Don't ignore safety precautions. Always meet new people in public areas and be cautious with personal info. While dating platforms are generally safe, you don’t know other people’s intentions in the first place - so you can be scammed at any moment if you lose your vigilance.
Negative talk is a big “no”
Avoid negative or pessimistic talk in your profile or conversations. Positivity is attractive, and no one likes overly pessimistic people who see themselves as constant losers.
Even if your self-esteem isn’t fine at the moment, don’t show that to succeed in online dating. Your potential partner should know that you’re worth talking to, so translate that thought clearly.
Ignoring Boundaries
Respect the boundaries of others. If someone isn't interested, don't push them - it won’t lead you anywhere. Most people aren’t ready to meet you in person after just a few messages - so let them know you better, and spend some time trying to get to know them as well.
Being Inflexible
Don't be too rigid in your preferences. Be open to different people and new experiences, because you never know where your real soulmate can be.
It doesn’t actually mean that you should date people you don’t find attractive at all, though. Attraction is extremely important, so just be open-minded and don’t let little things like hair color, clothes, or tattoos become a red flag.
Ghosting
Ghosting means suddenly cutting off contact with someone. It's hurtful and should be avoided. If you're not interested, communicate honestly - it can save someone’s time.
Lots of modern people have pretty weak “social batteries”, though - it means that they almost physically can’t talk to individuals they don’t know well too often. If it’s you, then be honest about it - or your potential partner might think that you just want to get rid of them.
Overthinking
Don't overthink every message or interaction. Relax and be yourself - it’s attractive and boosts your confidence.
If you see everything as a personal attack, or try to find sexual context in everything, it can ruin your chances with someone quickly. To succeed in online dating, you should try not to find any hidden messages behind everything a person says to you. If you’re not sure what they mean, it’s better to ask.
Conclusion
Modern online dating isn’t actually that complicated - though it has its own culture, memes, and typical situations, it’s still based on regular human communication, hopes, and interests.
In most cases, your best chance to succeed is to be a decent person - no lies, no rude comments, no neediness. If you truly respect yourself and see yourself as a valuable potential partner, then treat others with respect and kindness - and that’s how your potential soulmate can identify you.